I am single. God, I am so single; and I am basking in all of its do-what-I-want-and-talk-to-whom-I-please glory. I can go out with many different people, drinking and dancing until after midnight, and I can come home, take off my makeup, and sleep diagonally in my giant bed until 2:00 the following afternoon. I can text and talk to whomever I please (or whomever I don't) and spend my money on nothing but new clothes for myself. I don't have to plan my weekends around anyone else and if someone flirts with me, I do not feel the least bit bad.
I am single, and I can make solo plans for myself months in advance (just like I did for Boston). When I eat out at a restaurant, I only ever have to worry about paying for myself. I don't shave my legs unless I really want to, and I can wear the same ratty old clothes to bed for a week (not that this differs much from how I ever was in a relationship).
I am single, and if someone approaches me in a romantic way and I don't reciprocate at all, I don't feel bad for kindly telling them so. I don't need to use the patriarchy-appeasing excuse of "I have a boyfriend" to ward off the weirdos, because I can confidently say to them, "hey, I'm just doing my own thing right now, thanks." And strangely enough, that simple fact brings me much joy.
I am single, and I have learned so much more about myself during my singledom than I ever have while I have been one-half of a relationship. I have learned a lot about other people, too. All in all, being single has been a greater learning experience for me at this stage of my life, than anything else I've ever experienced. The way people (mis)treat a single woman, the confidence it takes to teach yourself to walk into a room and sit at a table by yourself, and the patience it requires to see others around you engrossed in their relationships, all come with time and experience in growing into being single. The single most defining, pivotal moment in singledom comes when you realize the significant difference between being lonely and being alone. You don't have to be single to be lonely. And you don't have to be lonely to be alone. I have seen some of the most lonely people, invested in marriage for decades, without even the smallest amount of love. I've seen people living their lives quite happily alone, with more friends and close confidants than the most social of relationship-prone butterflies.
I am single, and I am grateful. Grateful, for this time of great learning about myself, as well as others. Grateful, for this time of great learning about love; both the kind involving others, and the deeper kind involving only myself.
I am single, and there is not a doubt in my mind that my life is meant to be this way at this time for many reasons. I don't have regrets, and I don't pity myself or lament my being single. I have no "better half," because I am already one whole person. A fact many non-single people quickly forget.
I am single, and for the first time in my life, I have a crystal clear vision of what it really means to be happy, without the influence of anyone else.
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