30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 17 (A Quote You Try To Live By)

Day 17: A quote you try to live by

The first thing that came to mind when I thought about this was something I will always be able to hear my mother saying to me. The first memory I have of it comes from a very long time ago in my childhood, when I was probably only four or five years old. "Just do the best you can. That's all anyone can ask of you."

I have since heard her say this phrase on countless occasions to not only me, but also both of my siblings, my nephews, and probably several other people who I have forgotten about. When you're young, you don't really think about stuff like that or how it is going to shape you for the rest of your life. But looking back, it's easy to see how it has.

I always do the best I can, even to the point of groaning begrudgingly but carrying on when I just don't want to try anymore or I am exhausted past the point of caring. I always seem to be able to hear my mom saying, "Just do the best you can!" Not in a condescending or authoritative way, but in a genuinely helpful and supportive way; letting me know that my best will always be good enough.

The second part of that quote is the part that has helped me the most in getting through my adolescence, as well as my college education. I think that somehow inherently knowing that all anyone can ask of me is that I do my best has actually helped me learn how to create and maintain healthy boundaries and perspective as an adult.

If a person -- no matter who it is -- asks me to do something, and I have legitimately tried my best and still fallen short, then I have no problem whatsoever in being at peace knowing that I did all I could do. No amount of guilt tripping or shaming me will make me feel bad about not being good enough or not doing well enough. All that trying to make me feel bad will accomplish at that point is make me very angry at the source of the attempted guilt or shame. This translates over into my interpersonal relationships, as well. I am capable of loving a person with all that I have, but if all that I have is not good enough, that's too bad.

Similarly, through college, I have come to learn that I am a B-average kind of student. All throughout my academic career up to this point, I have always been an A student. Yeah, I got the occasional B in a hard math class; but again, my best in math was a B and I was okay with that. However, in the senior year of my baccalaureate program, I can say, getting more B's than A's is totally no big deal to me. Even now, some of my peers gasp at the horror of that idea. I don't care.

My parents never pressured me to be a straight-A student, and both of them always told me that I am incredibly intelligent and capable of doing anything. They supported me in whatever academic endeavors I dreamed up, and they still do. What the educational system does not recognize as A-student material, I acknowledge as being immeasurable on a grading scale. I have done my best, and that's all anyone can ask of me. 

Essentially, my mother instilled in me at an early age self-confidence and acceptance of the fact that my best is good enough. As long as I am really doing my best, then that's all I'm capable of offering. That is really all there is to it. It would be impossible for me to do anymore than I already have. So don't expect me to do the impossible.

I guess I never realized it until now when I actually sat down to think about it, but hearing my mom tell me those things over and over again as a young, impressionable child really helped instill good self-worth in my psyche. I don't think I actively try to live by that quote all of the time, but it is certainly always there in the back of my mind for me to fall back on when I need it. It has subconsciously shaped my life, teaching me how to be consciously aware that no matter what I do, when I have given my all, it will always be good enough.